I almost quit yesterday

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Hi friends, how are you doing? Yesterday was a pretty weird day for me. I was having so many thoughts about change and most particularly in relation to my blog. I thought about my journey and what my ultimate goal is and slowly one thought after the other began to creep into my mind. This made me start to question and reconsider everything. I thought maybe this blog name isn’t so great and I should create an entirely new and “better” name? Maybe my layout has been wrong all this time? Maybe I can restart my Instagram? Maybe I’m just wasting my time writing every week when I could be doing something else. I had so many maybe thoughts and it felt so overwhelming that I actually went ahead and started making the changes.

The changes.

I cancelled my plan on WordPress but thank God I still have all my features available to me until the very last day it was scheduled to renew itself. I deleted my about page along with my email subscriber sign-up (I’m probably going to keep it that way). I deactivated my Instagram page. This was a close one because I came very close to actually deleting it and creating an entirely new one from scratch. I deleted all the drafts and potential blog post ideas I had been saving for weeks. I also activated an entirely new theme on here because somewhere in my mind the new theme looked better than the one I have now. I was frantic when all the changes from my current blog disappeared when I activated the new one. That was my fault entirely because I was under the impression that all my customizations would be transferred to my new site. Thank God I had the sense to copy and paste all my customized css from editor before I changed my theme. I would be in a real pickle right now if I hadn’t.

Final thoughts.

I just thought I would share the dark side of my blogging journey with you. Not all days are perfect and I don’t always have it together. I’m always giving you advice and encouragement but sometimes I’m a wreck. At this moment I’m very grateful that I copied all my custom css from the editor because if I hadn’t, I would literally be back to square one and probably feeling really guilty and regretful for a silly and temporary decision. I hope you learned something from me and before I go I have a few questions to ask you? How do you handle anxiety when you feel like your creation isn’t good enough? On bad days do you ever get the urge to quit or start all over again? Please feel free to share, your thoughts are always welcome here ❤️ Thank you so much for reading and see you in my next post!

 

118 thoughts on “I almost quit yesterday

  1. Hang in there! I’m certain that you are not alone in feelings of departure. I come and go and when I have been absent for some time and come back it just feels like home. If you find your voice in your blog just let it flow, let it be just as is and sometimes…just let it be, for a time.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. A few months ago, I hit the restart button. I ended my old blog, and started a new blog because I felt that I had put myself into a box.
    Blogging is not easy, and can feel very burdensome. Take heart, and keep up the amazing work!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Ugh, the anxiety is the worst. I hate second guessing myself. I’m a real stick in the mud because I won’t budge an inch unless I think whatever I’m doing will either help/be better/looks nicer etc. But it has to or I will just sit there. Which can be good no rash decisions. But it also can hinder me as I feel like I lose that spontaneous feel. Or overthink and do nothing so I’m actually applauding you for diving in. I know that wasn’t easy so thank you for being super awesome!

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  4. An honest and lovely post my dear – we’ve all been there – I quit on a daily basis and then berate myself for my thoughts and carry on! Don’t ever believe that your blog doesn’t measure up because it does! What is so wonderful about this blogging community is the immense individuality and creativity on show – it is a place where we can read a post, such as this one, and think – ‘yep, me as well!’ We all learn from each other, we rejoice with each other and, sometimes, weep with each other, but the thing to remember is that the uniqueness that we bring to our words makes each and everyone one of us a valued member of this community. So to you, and anyone else having such doubts – don’t give up – keep going – we all need and value each other!

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    1. That is so wonderfully said Mel and thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️ What you say is true and I think that is one of the best (if not the best) reason for blogging on WordPress. The community is so kind, supportive and relatable ❤️ Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and encouragement ❤️

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  5. Thank you for sharing. I’m sure nearly everyone can relate to this in one way or another. It was brave of you to take a step back, but even braver to not give up. Good for you. 💕

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  6. Interesting vibe I’m picking up on, the more I read here. The comments become the blog’s content as much as the actual posts. “Wildflower” whether real, or within character, is “Everyblogger” and the concept works because it offers insight into our own personal philosophies and emotions while providing practical and useful tips. It is not just a “How to” guide.

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  7. Oh gosh, I deleted an old blog and new one. I kept the one I mainly hope to flourish. Yes, I had three blogs and now one. I have days where I think I’m a horrible writer and who will read it. Then I remind myself I have made friends on here and read their blogs. You just gotta push through. Anything great has moments of doubt- it’s when you ignore those doubts that you become great! 😀

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    1. Thank you so much ❤️ it must have been overwhelming maintain 3 blogs, but I’m happy you have one that you are hopeful about. I have met some wonderful people on here too and that’s another great reason not to quit ❤️ thank you so much for sharing ✨☺️

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  8. Some days we get stuck in life or there’s a nagging issue. Once we identify what it is, creativity begins to flow again. So don’t give up on your blog. Just take a pause when you don’t feel like it 😊

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  9. I am glad that there are blogs like this that share in the enjoyment and pains of blogging. A year ago I was transitioning for part time retirement to full retirement and my blog suffered greatly from this period. My posting was almost nonexistent and also during that time my blog hosting service did updates. Myself being retired military at had gone through to pain of losing me military email, which was promised to follow you forever if you retired, which I did but the military decided to take back/cancel.
    So it turns out to hosting service had the retired email so when I did not respond to emails about the changes in hosting they stopped backing up my blog site and then actually deleted all prior backups.
    Needless to say when I got my act together and was ready to be retired with passion for photo blogging, my site was down. Yes it took soul searching and ready to curse out the support team at the hosting site for not using the phone number associated with the email and blog site.
    http://robertsnapspot.com/2017/10/08/repair-and-rescue%ef%bb%bf/
    Needless to say, I also did recover from that experience but I’m so glad I stuck with this journey. Be encouraged! Robert.

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    1. Wow Robert! That is such an amazing story and I’m so glad you managed to recover after that incident. I had no idea the military gives personal emails, sounds like a pretty nice thing to have one. Thank you for sharing your story, I’m very inspired and encouraged ❤️☺️

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  10. I can completely relate to this post. I’ve tried blogging on WordPress more times than I care to admit and wound up deleting every single blog to start over. In retrospect, my main problem was that I didn’t really have a direction for my blog or a consistent writing schedule. Now, I’m approaching blogging with the idea of creating different content to fit different categories (like listicles, reviews, music, personal, etc.) and it’s been working thus far.

    Of course, there are days when I still struggle with maintaining my blog and have to resist the urge to just start all over again. I think taking breaks help, praying about it is good, and not comparing my blog to other blogs is also necessary (I’m still working on that one, especially since my following is so small right now).

    Overall, I try to remind myself that I love to write more than anything and it’s okay if keeping a blog is something I do just for me.

    You’re not alone. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aaww I can totally relate to what your going through. That was me in my earlier blogging days when I would literally delete a blog after one week because I wanted to start afresh. The goodness about doing that then is that I finally found my rhythm, content I love to write about and a schedule that works for me. The anxiety starts to kick in when I compare my journey to other more successful and prettier blogs. But like others have said it’s best to write for one’s self and do what works for you and take breaks when you feel like quitting. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts ❤️❤️

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  11. Hi there and sorry you’re feeling that way. I think nowadays most people go thru anxiety moments, it’s the work we’re living and also in my opinion, it’s the demands we put on ourselves, especially because other people seem to have better blogs, more followers etc and it seems we have to do better. I feel anxious too sometimes. My boyfriend recommended me writing down my worries and try to rationalize them. Over a few days you can see what you’ve written and reflect on it. There are also anxiety journals online that can be of help. Hope you cheer up soon, and feel proud, you have an amazing blog and many people who read you 😉

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    1. Aaww thank you very much Midorita ❤️ I appreciate all the love very much ☺️ I have never tried to write down my worries in order to rationalize them, I think it just might be worth a try when I start to feel anxious again. Thank you so much for sharing your advice ❤️☺️

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  12. Hang in there, my lovely Wildflower friend! I agree with one of your commenters… when you’re in a funk, break the pottery, put a hole in the wall, but DO NOT destroy your creations. Put them in archives or put them in a Word doc but don’t push the Delete button! Better yet, step away from the computer. Turn it off and leave the room!
    Remember: even in the darkest of deep holes, things WILL change. Hold onto that tiny glimmer of light. And keep on keeping on! I, for one, like your words very much! ❤

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  13. I understand the mindset, but don’t destroy your work unless someone can be hurt by it. If you find it unfit for human consumption, just take it offline and set it aside somewhere. It is a snapshot of your mindset at that given moment, and you might wish to look at it later for perspective and/or to see how you’ve changed or grown. If you destroy it chances are you’ll regret it later.

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  14. I feel just the same at present (and I have been here many times before). I love that you published this. Your caring, honesty and generosity is beautiful, and yet I know (from personal experience) it can get exhausting and make you literally want to disappear from sight. Well that’s how I feel sometimes anyway. I wish I could help, but the only way I can think of is to say that you are not alone. And I would really miss your beautiful blog if it was not here. And we are all evolving and in progress so let’s keep forgiving ourselves. And instead of deleting ourselves, maybe try to keep moving through it and loving our evolution. Change our self-perceptions instead of our existential state, lol.

    A while back I heard the most profound thing said by Brené Brown on Liz Gilbert’s Magic Lessons podcast:

    “Day 2 doesn’t stop because of [lack of] willpower or discipline. It stops because of shame. The antidote to shame is not discipline. The antidote to shame is empathy.’”

    This hit me so hard. I was not (/am not) being empathic… towards myself. I would forgive anyone their mistakes… no matter how severe… but I would not forgive my own, no matter how small.

    Sending love, for you, just as you are, beautiful Wildflower. Keep blooming.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww thank you so much Nadine ❤️❤️❤️ your words are very sweet and kind and make me feel a whole lot better to know that there is more than a handful of us who occasionally feel this way. I’m going to search for that Podcast because it sounds like they have some pretty amazing things to say and the more encouragement that I can find the better! Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful thoughts ❤️❤️

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      1. ❤️🌷❤️🌸❤️🌱 You’re welcome 🌸 and thank you. ❤️You are wonderful. I have been thinking of you a lot. You make a huge difference here on WP with your beautiful community! Here is the podcast: https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/magic-lessons/ They are all amazing but the one I reference above is Season 1 episode 12. I know it’s on iTunes not sure about Android. The link above lets you listen from the web page. xoxox much love

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  15. You’re so much like me, always questioning everything we’re doing. You know what? I think both of us spend too much of our time questioning and not enough time reading, writing, being outside in nature, resting, and such. Do you believe it’s possible for us to relax our stranglehold on ourselves and be at peace?

    Hope so,
    Karen

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  16. Thank you for your post. Ya, we all feel this way at one time or another. So what you’re feeling is so valid and so real. Like today for instance, I don’t feel like working out, sticking to this goal is hard for me. To remedy this I have people encouraging me and praying for me. I reached out to 3 people today for inspiring words to keep me going. As far as the blog, I started mine back in June I think and was hoping I would have more followers by now but I am learning it is all a process and everyone is so busy. I have discovered that people are more app to read something if it has a lot of pictures and is shorter in content. I ask people to sign up all the time and actually send the link with instructions right to their text and that works pretty good cuz it’s easy and convenient. So for me I mix things up and go with my gut. I was doing a lot of restaurant reviews and now have switched to simple recipes I’ve created or fresh juice squeezed from my fruit trees. I think mixing it up is Key. My cookbook will be out early fall and do you know that by the time it comes out it will be 4 1/2 years? So good things take time and during that time I think of all the people God has put in my path, how things are being orchestrated behind the scenes all the time. It’s pretty cool if you just go with it. Keep on keeping on! You are Gods masterpiece. Before you were born he planned out things for you to do that only YOU can do. (Ephesians 2:10). You are gifted, talented and inspiring. Just know God has great things in store for you. Never give up! Jules “Just Jules in the Kitchen”

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That was such a wonderful read Jules ❤️ I find it so inspiring that you found a niche that works best for you and your coming up with other things like your cookbook! And your absolutely right, good things do take time and I will keep that in mind when I start thinking too much about my blogging journey. Thank you so much for sharing your words ✨❤️

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    2. Dear Jules, just wanted to say I checked out your blog and it looks beautiful as do you and your words.

      I tried to “like” your front page but as I have mentioned here and there and everywhere on WP, I am unable to “like” pages on WordPress from the front end, neither in Safari nor Chrome. Something in the browser settings or maybe in my extensions. I have tried to fix and I have also communicated with WordPress support about it but there is only so much time for futzing around.

      From the research I have done online, many users have this problem. The only way I can “like” something on WP is from inside the WP Readers, as I’m doing here. Just want to let you (and others, reading here) know that sometimes people might want to like your page, but can’t.

      “Liking your page in spirit,” ;))) xo n

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  17. I read your post this morning and thought, wow. This is how I feel and have been for days now! I’ve minimal followers and for me to make changes won’t have a great impact on anyone but myself, but these are changes I need to make for myself. Personally, I’ve really enjoyed your blog and found it inspiring. If you want to make changes, make them for you, write for you. This is actually what you taught me this morning 🙂 Thank you for doing what you do and being who you are.

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  18. Well I sometimes get nervous about things I post. Yesterday was one of those days…something in the air..maybe. I deleted my post… https://aheartonthematter.com/2019/02/08/a-letter-to-my-11-year-old-self/ and then after thinking all day and getting some thoughts from friends today I restored it. So funny that I come to read your blog and to know that I am not alone with anxiety about things I post. I thought although I like how I wrote it, that perhaps I shared too much. I always get nervous about that, but we do share a lot of ourselves in our writing especially if we are honest. A blogger friend re-did my site for me last year and I am so grateful and love the theme. It was time for a change, so I know how you feel about that. I guess I try to rationalize anxiety, which is kind of funny being that anxiety is not at all rational. LOL Hang in there. I enjoy your words. 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much Dani! I’m so glad that you restored your post after speaking to your loved ones and getting clarity. And I’m so happy that anxiety is only temporary, I think taking a short break would also be helpful ❤️✨ thank you for sharing your thoughts ❤️❤️

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  19. I think about quitting all of the time. The self doubt about what am I actually doing! I have a personal blog, not a business blog so there are limited things I can do with my account. On top of the fact that I don’t like to create anything unless it’s real to me, so posting on a schedule is hard. I feel like my Instagram doesn’t flow or look professional.. but.. if I’m not out any money, why would I abandon it?

    I want my words to help someone and I think in your case, you do too. It’s not always obvious that people hear you. Your previous posts made it sound like progress has been made and girl, progress is progress no matter how big the stride is. Keep going. I hear you.

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  20. Oddly, I was thinking about you & your blog off and on all day yesterday. I’m glad you didn’t end up completely unraveling things. Anxiety is no joke; it can throw us into behavior patterns that temporarily disconnect us from our sense of reason and then make it nearly impossible for us to think straight or make calm, focused decisions. In my early years, going way back, before I became a successful writer in my market, I suffered from so much doubt and anxiety. I still deal with it in my personal life, but no longer with my writing. But I do remember how it felt and can understand what you are likely feeling. Although I did not have to deal with everything being so public— a reality that underlies and perhaps sometimes undermines all that you are trying to create. In my early days, there were no such things as “like, follow, friend me,” and how judgmental they can feel, or this whole dopamine effect that comes with the immediacy of all this social media stuff. Unfortunately you do have to contend with that, on top of everything else. Whenever you feel anxious about who you are as an artist, just make every conceivable effort to mentally step away from that feeling of doubt. Block it as much as you can and refuse to let anxiety define you. Try to find someone to talk to, to shift your mind off your anxiety, or stop everything and just pray your way through it. Don’t turn on yourself. Doubt can make us all do that, but don’t allow it. It is so incredibly destructive and can literally destroy art. Breathe, step away, get clarity, and turn to those voices that love you. Reach out. Don’t isolate yourself. That’s my advice! ❤️

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    1. Thank you so much for your powerful words Marilyn ❤️ I really love your detailed responses and I will definitely take your advice. I think this post will serve as my haven whenever I feel like I’m having anxiety again. The responses are so thoughtful and comforting. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts ☺️❤️

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  21. I absolutely do and I think we all do. Personally I think you’re doing great. The fact that you almost did but didn’t quit is actually a great achievement. You should celebrate your victory!

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  22. Blogging is definitely a journey! It is good to know you backed away from a blogging precipice yesterday – and good of you to share that experience. We all have moments like that. You have a wonderful voice, keep using it! 🙂

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  23. We all have dark moments like that. Sometimes it’s OK to take a step back to rest also. I ad to do that myself recently.

    As far as being a wreck while you’re giving out advice and encouragement… That’s OK too. Sometimes YOU need to hear that advice more than the readers. Rest assured you’re helping the readers also though. 🙂

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  24. I’m glad you had a back-up plan and didn’t lose everything. Anxiety can be tough to deal with especially on its worst days, making you question everything and feel worthless. But it’s all a lie. I’ve had a few moments where I’ve wondered if my blog is “too amateur” or “not organized enough” (I only have one page of running posts: no index/menu to speak of), but then I remember that for me, it’s simply about the writing. Yes, I’d like to add those extra features at some point, but I can always work up to it and make those changes eventually. I try to remember that I can’t let myself be defeated over things I simply haven’t done yet. Again, glad you decided not to quit and didn’t lose your progress with the blog! 🙂

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  25. I go through this same thing with life too. I think the best thing to do is walk away from what overwhelms you and focus on something fun that you will enjoy. Then when your mood improves and you feel inspired to, come back to that thing. Also revisit your goals with why you write in the first place. Look back to when you first started to see how far you’ve come. And what’s your goal with your blog to begin with. Are you reaching that goal? If no, why not… and what can you do differently?

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  26. I’m sorry you have had these struggles, but well done for getting through and for not quitting! I have read this post and the comments with great interest. Blogging is new to me and so blogging anxiety is something I have also reluctantly welcomed into my life. You are not alone and I completely agree with the previous comments about your blog being for you. It should first and foremost be your outlet, your creative zone. Do with it what works for you. It’s OK if that changes. Make that your new perfect. An evolving perfectionism is much easier to manage than an ultimate goal (something I am also practising!). You have a great following, but that is not due to expectations of what you have not yet achieved. Rather an appreciation of what you already have 🙂

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    1. Aaww thank you so much Stevie ✨❤️ I appreciate your encouragement and your right about doing what works best for me. I am taking notes and will implement all this great advice I’m receiving. Thank you so much and I wish you well on your blogging journey ❤️❤️

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  27. Oh…i am sorry for what’s happening ☹. Well, for me I just keep writting, it doesn’t matter whether you get audience to read or not. I didn’t take it personally. I treat it my blog as my personal journal tghat i cpuld write any and share what I had in my mind. Well, as the mater of finding niche I am pretty new also in a blogging world but it goes together as long I keep writting contect and found what I do really like tonwrite and talk about 😀. And if I feel I didn’t feel like to write a post, I just step back in a moment to cool down my mind. Do something else, than I write again after I feel better. Because, I always remember there is some people or even a follower that will read your blog. Evebthough just one. Is precious too. 😊. So, keep going, I like your blog though. 🤗

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  28. 🙂 Hmm. I am curious. What is the reason for cancelling your WordPress plan? Did it fail to meet your requirements or your expectations?

    And, what made you feel that you were wasting your time posting weekly?

    If posting weekly is a hassle for you, there is always the option of posting fortnightly.

    I will tell you a secret:

    Blogging is easy for those people who know what their blog is all about and they create a blogging calendar; which helps them to view what they have to post about in future blog posts.

    And, they also schedule their blog posts.

    In my case, I have made things easy for myself by posting content on my blog on a weekly basis (And, that works for me).

    Do enjoy the rest of your day!

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    1. Thank you so much for the advice Renard ❤️ I try to schedule my posts sometimes for every Monday but sometimes I just feel overwhelmed that it makes me question everything im doing. Im just glad that those moments are temporary. As for your questions I canceled my plan because I wanted to delete my site and start with a completely new and different one. And I can’t explain why I was feeling like I was wasting my time posting weekly. It’s not because of the posting schedule but more so what I want to come out of this whole blogging journey. I want it to be more than just writing each week so I guess that’s what made me start to feel anxious about it in the first place. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts ❤️✨

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  29. Early last year, my world went dark, the granddad of all depressions moved in and I literally tore up everything I could lay my hands on. I didn’t want to continue, living was also debatable. Somehow, I managed to climb back out and life did continue. But I lost more than just paperwork. I lost faith in myself and took me ages to get some of it back. Note to self (and anyone else who finds themselves down the same rabbit hole) go punch a wall or break crockery, but NEVER destroy your work!

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  30. I have more days when I feel my content is trash than days when I actually appreciate it. I’m very critical of my blogging but I go on anyway because it is very important to me. Though the progress has been slow, it is still progress and thus should be appreciated for what it is.

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  31. Please don’t go, you will be missed!

    You blog, I think, as much for yourself as for any random person who is happening to surf the web at the time.

    Your words are you and, with the benefit of the Internet, they will outlast you – possibly forever.

    Under those circumstances who gives a ff what other, strangers, think about them.

    When I feel down (and thanks to my friends here and in real life that isn’t very often) I remember the Sufi poet Attar of Nishapur, who asked the wisest men in his country for one quote that would be accurate at all times and in all situations. The wise men consulted with one another, and threw themselves into deep contemplation, and finally came up with the answer …

    “this too, shall pass”.

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  32. Hey!
    I’m a perfectionist, so I tend to be very critical of my creative work. I’m slowly learning to let God use the “imperfections” as He sees fit. And when the anxiety and second guessing starts to creep in, I just take a break and give myself time to properly think things through and go back to my WHY. My reason for starting the blog, evaluating the progress and process and that usually helps me get back to a focused place.

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    1. Hi Joelle! Thank you so much for your advice, I think I need to start constantly reminding myself that taking a break is okay. It is difficult for me to do because I’m also a perfectionist and when I think and feel that I can create something better if I just start over, things just spiral from there until I snap out of it. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts ❤️✨

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  33. If you’re doing this blog for yourself. Then why quit on you? Yesterday was a big challenge. Yet here you are today, still pushing on. That is something to be proud of! Keep posting, keep persisting. You got this! 🙂

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      1. You’re very welcome Wildflower! Stay strong!
        You actually might find something pertinent in my last blog post ‘The cat at the window’. It’s about the value of persistence.
        Hope you have a great day today!

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  34. Sorry you feel that way and it sucks. I have had thoughts such as those several times, but usually take a break from blogging, stay away from site completely till I feel somehow in a right mood. But, but, I love your blog and all you share. Keep strong and hang in there dear.

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  35. With my blog, anxiety or negative self-contained about myself have never made me consider those feelings you had towards my my blog. My blog has grown as I have.

    The only thing that has surprised me is that I am still blogging. I never would have thought I would still be writing this blog now, if you asked me at the beginning.

    Anxiety can certainly bring in self-doubt and negative questions as you have experienced.
    I can battle with anxiety or depression in a similar way, away from my blog, with negative questions.

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  36. I’m sorry for your blogging anxiety! I totally understand because I go through it as well. Last night I panicked and deleted a couple of posts during a high amount of anxiety from other things happening in my life…I wish I had a good answer for you as to how to make it better. For now, I hope you know you’re not alone!

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